Weight of the World
by shivez
Summary: Samantha Carter felt like she had been kicked in the gut; betrayed by the one person who mattered most to her. AU, Set late S8. Minor spoilers for Upgrades, Divide and Conquer, and Threads. Rated T for a few bad words.
1. Chapter 1: News and Views

**A/N: I do not claim to be a writer and have never attempted anything like this before but I would really like to know what you think. This story is completed and I will be updating regularly. I am also looking for a Beta if anyone is interested.**

**Season: Late S8**

**Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Upgrades, Divide and Conquer, and Threads**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate or anything related to the Stargate franchise.**

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**Chapter 1: News and Views**

Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter felt like she had been kicked in the gut; betrayed by the one person who mattered most to her.

"Go to hell!" the words exploded from her. Sam glared at O'Neill. Her eyes bore into him and her words cut into his bones like a knife. She never spoke to him like that. She was always the consummate solider respectful, professional, bound sense of duty.

"Carter…" Brigadier General Jack O'Neill responded in a warning tone. That one word which held so many meanings, lingered in the air for a lifetime.

Sam dropped her head in defeat, turned on her heels, and left the office without being dismissed. The door slammed. "Dismissed" he sighed rubbing his hands through his gray hair staring at the door.

"Damn."

*******************

Sam walked down the steps of the Stargate on P3X-656 and surveyed her surroundings. '_Well, this is different'_, she mused to herself. The Stargate was situated precariously on a large cliff overlooking a mountain range that reminded her of the Rockies. Although initial M.A.L.P. data indicated SG-1 was in no danger of falling when they came through the wormhole, being there in person still sent a chill down her spine when she looked down the steep drop to see the valley below.

They were to be here for 3 days, a simple survey for possible sources of Naquadah. After her confrontation with General O'Neill, she needed this, needed to get away from the SGC, from him if only for a short time. Here she could lose herself in her work and forget the words, the hurt she felt. She stood there unmoving, staring at the majestic view lost in her thoughts.

"Sam? Helloooo, Earth to Sam."

Sam turned around, startled to see Daniel in front of her with a look of concern on his face. "Hey Sam, are you okay? You looked liked you were a million miles away."

"Actually about 25 trillion." She responded flashing Daniel a smile. "Just taking in the view, it's beautiful."

"I wonder why the Stargate is on this cliff" Daniel pondered rhetorically. "Teal'c, have you ever been on a planet where the gate was on a mountain?"

"I have not"

"Any thoughts about why the Goa'uld would…"

"Let's get going." Sam suddenly interrupted, "It's going to get dark soon and I don't want to be stuck on this cliff any longer than necessary."

With Sam taking point, Daniel in the middle, and Teal'c watching their six, they followed a trail that seemed to be carved out of the mountain face away from the Stargate. They walked in amiable silence as the trail wound its way down the mountain.

An hour later, just at the base of the mountain, they came upon a vast stretch of land, roughly the size of a football field, littered with boulders. SG-1 stood at the edge of the boulder field. No one moved as each seemed to contemplate the scene before them. The ground was covered like a blanket with various sizes of rocks. Some were round and flat like river stone worn smooth by centuries of erosion. The majority however, were jagged and angry looking ready to tear into flesh with any misstep. There were also large boulders some weighing several hundred pounds strewn around the field as if standing guard, protecting the area from intruders.

"Wow, look at the size of some of those boulders." Daniel interrupted the silence as he pondered out loud.

Sam answered. "Yeah." She pondered to herself, what could have caused the collection of rocks and boulders. The M.A.L.P did not detect any indication of seismic activity on the planet. They were on the side of a mountain; however, the rocks had to come from somewhere. She took a hesitant step forward into the blanket of stone and immediately lost her footing and started to fall. Teal'c grabbed her pack before she hit the ground saving her from the jagged rocks and a sure trip to the infirmary for stitches.

"Colonel Carter, are you injured?"

"I'm fine, Teal'c. Thanks for the hand." She paused looking at the field again. "Okay, let's set up camp here. The sun is going down and I would rather not tackle these rocks with poor visibility."

After they set up camp, the three team members of SG-1 sat around the campfire. The night was cool but not uncomfortable. Daniel and Teal'c sat near each other and talked quietly.

"…There are no signs of civilization but someone put the Stargate on that mountain cliff for a reason…"

"Sam, what do you…" Daniel abruptly turned his head to where Sam sat stopping in mid-sentence. She was not listening to their conversation. Daniel observed her for some time. He knew Sam had been unusually quiet since arriving on the planet; she has been unusually quiet for the past several days. She sat with her knees pulled up and arms held tightly around them, staring into the fire lost in her own world far away from here. Daniel knew that Sam was a private person. He knew that she had been on an emotional rollercoaster recently with her father passing away and breaking off her engagement to Pete Shanahan. It was not surprising that she would be quiet or distant in dealing with these things. This was different. She was withdrawn. She seemed lost. He knew something was wrong.

Daniel finally spoke. "So…Sam, are you going to tell Teal'c and me what's been bothering you for the past few days?"

Sam did not respond continuing to stare into the flames from the fire. "Sam," Daniel spoke again jarring her from her thoughts.

She looked up in surprise. "What?"

"You had that 25 trillion miles away look again. Are you going to tell Teal'c and me what has been bothering you for the past few days?" Daniel knew he was prying, but he also knew she needed to talk to someone.

"What do you mean, Daniel?"

"Sam…" Daniel responded with concern, "I know something has been bothering you. You've been ignoring everyone and holed up in your lab for days. What's going on?"

"Nothing is wrong, Daniel, I'm fine" she responded very quickly, too quickly for Daniel to believe her. "I've just been very busy. I had to finish the analysis of the artifact brought back from P2X-891 and complete my report to General O'Neill on the changes made to the Stargate dialing sub-routines after the most recent full gate diagnostics before we left for this mission."

Daniel looked at her with doubt.

Sam had returned her gaze to the fire and disappeared back into the world Daniel had roused her from. He turned to look at Teal'c who responded only with a raised eyebrow.

"Sam you know if you need anything, or anyone to talk to, we are here for you." Daniel said, pleading for her to confide in Teal'c or him. He hated to see her so despondent.

Sam looked up again, "Thanks for your concern, but I really am fine." She gave them a forced smile and changed the subject abruptly ending the inquiry. "I'm tired; I think I am going to turn in for the night. Teal'c you take first watch, Daniel third." She hastily got to her feet and moved off to her tent.

*******************

Jack sat at his desk trying to wade through his never ending mound of paperwork. He had been staring at the same requisition for the last 10 minutes, his mind elsewhere. He could not stop thinking about her. Stop thinking about what had happened. Sam had avoided him as much as possible since their conversation 4 days ago. He knew she needed some space to think things through. Their only contact since had come in briefings where she put on her perfect solider mask. He knew she was furious with him. More than that, she was hurt.

_4 days ago_

_There was a knock on his door. Jack knew who it was he had been expecting her. "Come in"_

_Carter walked in and stood at attention in front of his desk. "You wanted to see me, sir?" God, how he wished he didn't have to do this. _

"_Yeah Carter, um…" He didn't know if he could get through this. He had been dreading talking to her ever since the orders had been handed down. This was going to change things. "How are things going with SG-1?" 'Great, way to go O'Neill. Way to get straight down to the subject.' Jack was kicking himself. 'Come on soldier. It's just Carter. She will understand. She has to.' _

"_Fine, sir." _

"_Great, yeah great. Um…have you come across any new doohickeys to play with?" 'Can this get anymore pathetic', Jack thought to himself._

_Sam paused for a moment looking at the General with questioning eyes. "No, sir, only the artifact that was recovered on P2X-891, which I am still trying to figure out the power source…" Jack stopped listening and was focusing on her eyes. They spoke volumes to him. Her eyes were like a window to her soul to her emotions. _

"_General? Sir?" Carter had finished talking and was questioning him. Jack roused himself back to reality. "Okay, sounds good." _

"_Sir? You were not listening to what I was saying, were you?" _

"_Sorry Carter, my mind wandered off for a minute. What were you saying?"_

"_General, was there something else you needed to see me about? 'Leave it to Carter to get straight to the point.' _

_Jack looked at her for a moment an eternity. _

"_I'm leaving the SGC." He said quietly__. _


	2. Chapter 2: Cold Rain

**A/N: A huge thank you to everyone that reviewed. I am humbled and encourage by your comments. I hope you will not be disappointed in Chapter 2.**

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**Chapter 2: Cold Rain**

The trek across boulder field the next morning proved to be as difficult and unforgiving as Sam originally expected. There were a few stumbles along the way but SG-1 managed to get through without incident.

The remaining time spent of P3X-656 also past without incident. Daniel searched for clues to explain the lost civilization of the planet and continued to ponder the placement of the Stargate on the mountain cliff. Teal'c quietly stood guard protecting his friends from harm. Sam, as she had hoped, lost herself in her work. Soil analyses and Naquadah deposits encompassed her and any thoughts of _him_ were filed away in the far recesses of her mind.

On the morning of their return, the weather took a turn for the worse. A light rain began to fall. SG-1 were scheduled to return to the SGC at 1400 hours and it would be difficult to make the return if the rain continued. The already rocky terrain became slippery and unstable the further they journeyed.

As Sam walked, left alone to her thoughts, _he_ began to invade her consciousness again. Her mood deteriorated. She became more preoccupied the closer to the gate, closer to facing him again, she traveled. The weather seemed to sense Sam's thoughts as it appeared to worsen with each step. She could not avoid him forever. They were going to have to work through what happened before…he left. When SG-1 reached the boulder field at the foot of the mountain, the rain had become a cold, steady downpour.

"_I'm leaving the SGC." He said quietly._

_She stood in front of General O'Neill with a look of utter shock. 'Leaving? Did he just say he was leaving the SGC?' _

_After what seemed an eternity, she finally spoke. "L…Leaving?"_

"_Yeah.." He replied simply. _

_Sam's mind was moving so fast she could not process the thoughts. 'How was this happening? Where was he going? When was he going? Why was he going?'_

"_I'm going to be the new Head of Homeworld Security" Jack continued. "in Washington, D.C."_

"_What about General Hammond, sir?" _

"_Retiring. He personally asked that I take the position and the President agreed."_

"_What about the SGC?" She questioned him. _

"_I'm not leaving the SGC, Carter. I'm just going to Washington. I will still know everything that is going on here. Same crap, different place." O'Neill said, pleading his case._

"_What about SG-1?" 'What about me?' she thought to herself. 'What about us?'_

_He looked down at his hands and sighed, "I haven't been apart of SG-1 for awhile. It's your team now, Carter. I'm on the outside looking in."_

_He looked at her. She thought about when they were trapped on Apophis' ship and he refused to leave her. She thought about sitting with him before her father died, thanking him for being there for her. "Always", he said. 'It was all a lie. He was leaving, leaving her.'_

"_You could have said, no, sir." She said quietly, almost whispering the words__. _

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On their first trip through the boulder field the footing had been challenging. It took the utmost concentration to make the trek unscathed. On their return, the footing was treacherous. The pouring rain had turned the boulders into slippery landmines, ready to explode with the first misstep.

Sam had not realized she had fallen behind some distance from Teal'c and Daniel who were almost through the field. She slowly made her way over the jagged rocks deep in thought when her right foot slipped and caused her to lose her balance and hit the hard, unforgiving ground. Her right hand came down hard on the edge of one of the rocks. A sharp pain shot through her arm. She lay of the ground, cursing herself for her lack of concentration.

"Dammit!"

She looked at her hand and grimaced slightly. The rock had cut an approximately 2 inch gash in the palm of her hand. Blood flowed freely._ 'Great. Stitches.' _.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a low rumbling. She heard her name being frantically shouted.

"Colonel Carter!" Teal'c yelled. Hand forgotten, Sam quickly got to her feet and turned toward Teal'c and Daniel to respond when she saw it. The low rumble was a rock slide caused by the rain tearing down the side of the mountain.

"Colonel Carter, you must run!"

"Run, Sam!" Daniel yelled.

She started to run.

The footing was too slippery.

The low rumble now a freight train heading for her.

Daniel and Teal'c screamed in the background

Sam was not going to make it.

She was going to die.

The rock slide roared to her position and engulfed her dragging her down with stone arms that refused to let go. She was pummeled with rocks hitting her head, her face, her chest, her legs. She rode the wave of rock and mud for eternity. The torture of the rock slide endless. She suddenly came to a jarring halt; her head impacted with hard, unforgiving stone. She could not move as she felt the debris from the slide building up and around her body. The rocks and mud were becoming her coffin; the field her cemetery. Unconsciousness was pulling her into a nether void when she felt a weight settle on her. Agonizing pain unlike anything she had ever experienced ripped through her body. Blackness enveloped her vision; the pain too much to bear.

She gave in to the darkness and slipped away.


	3. Chapter 3: Silent Prayers

**Chapter 3: Silent Prayer****s**

Daniel prayed for a miracle. He knew she was not going to make it out of the field before the rock slide over took her. Sam maneuvered through the field as fast as she could, but the rocks were too slippery. "Oh, God, Sam." He quietly muttered as he watched helplessly the rock slide envelope Sam and carry her away in its wave of destruction.

Time crept, seconds, minutes, hours seemed to pass until the slide stopped its furious descent. The roar ended replaced by an ominous silence mixed in with the sound of the steady cold rain that continued to fall.

Daniel and Teal'c seemed rooted in place as the realization of what had happened began to slowly permeate their surroundings

Devastation.

The mountain spilled tons of additional rock, debris, and mud into the field. New car sized boulders joined the previous occupants. The rocks looked as it they had waged their own epic battle the field its arena. Large boulders were tightly packed beside each other. Others rested on top some leaning as if jockeying for position. Most were simply crushed into smaller jagged pieces destined to join the blanket of rock that was the field.

Teal'c began running forward but stopped and looked back when he realized Daniel had not joined him. "Are you injured, Daniel Jackson?"

Daniel did not respond. Utter despair raced through him and overwhelmed his thoughts. _'How could Sam have survived this?'_

Teal'c returned to where her left Daniel and took him by both shoulders shaking him slightly. "Daniel Jackson, are you injured? We must begin the search for Colonel Carter."

Daniel finally looked up into Teal'c's eyes and spoke, "How could Sam survive this, Teal'c? How could _anyone_ survive this?"

"She will survive Daniel Jackson. We must hurry." Teal'c stated emphatically. He turned from Daniel and began searching the field moving the rocks with brute strength and sheer force of will.

Daniel stood rooted in his tracks as Teal'c's words filtered through his mind._ 'She has to be alive.'_

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SG-1 were overdue. Jack walked into the control room and ordered the gate technician to dial P3X-656. When the wormhole was established, Jack radioed SG-1.

"SG-1, this is Stargate Command. Respond." There was no immediate response.

"SG-1, this is O'Neill. You're over due to return. Respond." He waited for a response. Years of field experience screaming at him that something was wrong. "Carter, respond."

"O'Neill."

"T, buddy, good to hear from you." Jack responded, relief in his voice. "What's going on?"

"O'Neill, there has been an accident. You must send immediate help." Jack noticed the usually calm voice of the Jaffa seemed anxious.

"Accident? What kind of accident?"

"Colonel Carter has been injured."

Time stopped.

"_You could have said, no, sir." She said quietly, almost whispering the words. _

"_Yes, I could have, but I didn't. I can't. I report to Washington in 2 weeks." His response dejected._

"_So, that's it." Carter stated a little more emphatically. Jack could tell she was unsettled. _

"_What do you want from me?" Jack replied irritation in his voice. 'This is so not going where he wanted this to go.'_

"_I want to know why you are really leaving…sir," adding sir as an afterthought. "You hate doing this. You hate the bureaucracy, the politics, and now you're going to Washington." _

_How could Jack respond? Carter was right. He hated this…this job. He was a solider; he belonged in the field not behind some desk in Washington listening to blow hard politicians. _

"_It's complicated." 'Complicated by the fact that he had left his feelings in the room for so long, he didn't know how to let them out. Complicated by the fact that he was doing this for her_

"_Complicated?" Sam replied harshly. "Complicated?"_

"_You're running away from the SGC, from SG-1, from everyone that cares about you." _

_Jack winced at her words. 'From you,' he thought. _

"_I'm not running away, Carter."_

"_Are you running away because Kerry Johnson dumped you?"_

"_Excuse me?" Before he even thought about what he was saying, words erupted from his mouth. "Carter, you don't have the best track record when it comes to relationships. That wacko Jonas Hansen thought he was a God and killed himself. You killed Martouf. Orlin, Narim, and Faxon are all probably dead. And don't get me started on Shanahan." Jack spewed the words and immediately regretted them._

_Sam stood there for a moment a shocked expression on her face. Her cheeks flushed red as if she had been slapped. Her eyes pierced him like daggers. _

"_Go to hell!"_

'_It wasn't supposed to happen this way.'  
_

"Carter." It was a statement not a question. Jack suddenly felt as if he were drowning. Drowning in regret. "What happened?"

"There was a rock slide. Colonel Carter was unable to move out of the path before it engulfed her. Daniel Jackson and I have yet to locate her. O'Neill, you must hurry, there may not be much time."

Within 30 minutes, SG units 3 and 15 along with field medics and Doctor Brightman were assembled in the gate room ready to embark. Tension was apparent throughout the members. This was a search and rescue mission that could easily turn into search and recovery. As the final chevron engaged on the Stargate and the familiar kawoosh exploded from the connected wormhole, the blast doors opened allowing the final member of the team to enter. General O'Neill entered the gate room. No one looked surprised that he was leading this mission. He turned to the group for a brief moment. No words were spoken, none were needed. Each team member knew why they were here. He was here to bring her home.

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**A/N****: The big hurt. Sam throwing Kerry in his face and Jack retaliating because they are both too afraid to admit the truth. Do I really think this would happen? Probably not but since it's AU anything is possible. Thank you again for your continued support.**


	4. Chapter 4: Searching, Hoping

**Chapter 4: Searching, Hoping**

An hour later the rescue team arrived at the boulder field to find Daniel and Teal'c, wet and covered in mud from their exhaustive search for Sam. The somber pair barely acknowledged the team as it assembled at the edge of the field. Jack observed the two noting the dire circumstances that befell them. He ordered the team to wait until he spoke with Daniel and moved into the field.

"Daniel"

"Jack"

"What the hell happened?" He asked with irritation in his voice.

"I don't know, Jack." He stated sadly. "We left this morning to return to the SGC. It started to rain and the footing was rocky, slippery, it was difficult. Sam was on our six. When we arrived at the boulder field, Teal'c and I started making our way through. Sam had fallen behind and was just starting to… Oh, God, we should have waited for her. This would not have happened if…" The reality of what happened rose with each word.

"Daniel," Jack abruptly cut him off trying to control his emotions as well as Daniel's. "What happened after she started going through the field?"

"She slipped on one of the rocks and fell. Teal'c and I were almost through when we heard the rumble. She got up but she wasn't going to make it, it was moving too fast, the footing was too slippery, the mud sucking her down with each step." The words tumbled out of his mouth as fast as the rocks that carried Sam away. "Then she was gone."

Jack stared at Daniel with a stoic expression, absorbing his words.

Daniel continued, "I found her field pack and P-90," handing him the gear. "It looks like they were torn from her by the rocks."

Jack looked at the frayed straps and winced knowing the power that was needed to rip the pack from her back. Despair began to rise from the depths and threatened to overwhelm his guarded emotions. He maintained focus on the gear as he fought an internal battle for control. _'This is not personal. She is a valuable member of my team. She is a valuable member of the SGC. I would do this for any soldier under my command._' He radioed the group, "Ok let's spread out, radio contact every 15 minutes. Daniel, show me where you found her pack and weapon."

Jack and Daniel returned to the area where Daniel found Sam's gear. Jack turned around a full 360 degrees. The view was the same, mud and rock. "Carter!" he yelled "Carter!" He knew she would not respond.

The search was slow and tedious, hampered by the unrelenting rain. With each step, the mire that covered the ground impeded their movement grabbing their boots their resolve with invisible hands refusing to let go. Daylight was quickly waning and visibility soon became a problem. Jack was desperate to find Carter. He did not want the memory of their last moment together filled with angry words and emotional regret. _'How had everything gone so wrong?' _

Jack turned from his position to rejoin Daniel, who had moved some distance away, when he glimpsed out of the corner of his eye something that seemed out of place amongst a group of boulders. Jack curiously turned in the direction of the boulders straining to see in the fading light if his vision was real or an illusion playing with his weary mind. He started cautiously toward the area. When he was about 200 yards away he was able to focus clearly on what caught his eye. Standing out against the canvas of grays, blacks, and browns, was a crop of blonde hair. Carter.

Jack began to run as fast as the rocks and mud allowed him. The distance seemed insurmountable as he fought his way forward. He stumbled to the boulders and the mostly buried figure of Carter and the mop of hair that guided him like a beacon in the dark. She was deathly still. Jack fell to his knees and hesitantly felt for a pulse while he quietly whispered to himself, "please be alive, please be alive, please."

There was a pulse, barely.

He leaned back and closed his eyes as if in silent prayer and let out the breath he did not realize he had been holding. After composing himself, he opened his eyes to take in the extent of Carter's condition. The rock slide had dumped her like a rag doll against the side of an enormous boulder, the back of her head raised against its bottom. Another larger boulder lay beside her left side, a third although not as large as the first two, rested near her lower torso. While rocks and debris covered most of her body, the boulders on her left side and lower torso probably saved her life blocking rocks from completely burying her. Her face was dirty and bloody from various lacerations. One particularly nasty cut near her left eyebrow had bled heavily and blood covered most of the side of her face.

***************

As Daniel continued to search, he looked up momentarily to see Jack running through the field and suddenly drop to his knees.

"Jack" Daniel yelled to which he received no response.

Daniel keyed his radio, "Jack, this is Daniel, what's going on? Did you find Sam?" The radio remained silent. He watched as Jack began digging in the mud throwing rocks to the side. He began to run as he radioed Teal'c, "Teal'c, I think Jack found Sam."

***************

He heard Daniel call his name and radio him, but his thoughts were not on responding, he had to help Carter. With reckless abandonment, he began digging through the mud and throwing rocks aside.

Daniel arrived at the spot he had seen Jack stop and drop to his knees. He could not see Jack's face because his back was to him only that he was on his hands and knees digging through the rock and mud.

"Jack, what's going on? Did you find S…?" Daniel said stepping to Jack's side. "Oh, God, Sam. Is she…"

Daniel spoke hesitantly, "is she alive?"

"Yeah." Jack responded without looking up or stopping his work. "We have to get her out of here."

Forgetting his radio, Daniel yelled. "Medic! I need a medic! We found Sam."

Teal'c, Doctor Brightman, and the field medics arrived with SG-3 following closely behind. Doctor Brightman dropped to her knees beside Jack and asked him about her condition.

"General O'Neill, can you tell me anything about Colonel Carter's condition?"

Jack remained silent as he continued to remove the debris.

"General O'Neill?"

Finally, Jack responded muttering to himself as if no one else were around. "Got to get her out, back to the SGC."

"We will General, but you must let us help." Doctor Brightman touched his shoulder gently imploring him with her words.

Jack stopped and looked at the doctor and the group that had assembled behind him. "She's alive. I don't know how badly she's hurt."

"Let us help her, sir."

He nodded in acknowledgement. The group worked for about 30 minutes removing the rocks that covered Sam before Doctor Brightman could finally see the extent, at least visually, of her injuries. Sam's right arm was pinned under her back probably broken and there was worry about spinal injury or skull fracture due to the angle of her head against the boulder. Her respiration was shallow and labored, leading the doctor to suspect that she had broken ribs. The biggest problem was the smaller, if you want to a call few hundred pounds small, boulder near her torso. After removing the majority of the debris, it was discovered that the boulder was sitting on top of Sam's upper left leg and pelvis. Doctor Brightman knew if they did not get the boulder off her soon, it would most certainly kill her.

Jack stood to the side and watched in agonizing silence as the doctor and medics worked on Sam. He was no doctor, but he knew it was bad. When he realized she was trapped beneath one of the boulders, his heart sank.

After making her initial assessment of Colonel Carter's condition, Doctor Brightman turned and approached the General. "General," she addressed him, "we need to get the boulder off of Colonel Carter but we don't have the necessary equipment."

Jack recognized the urgency and keyed his radio, "Sierra Gulf one five niner come in."

"Go, ahead General."

"We have located Colonel Carter. She is pinned under a boulder. We're going to need some equipment and field engineers from the SGC to move this thing and we need it ASAP."

"Understood, General, Sierra Gulf one five niner out."

Jack turned to the doctor. "How's she doing doc?"

"She hasn't regained consciousness. I know she probably has a broken arm and fractured ribs. I'm worried about possible skull fractures, and…"

"Ack." He quickly interrupted before he was lost in a jumble of technical words. "Just give me the bottom line, Doc. "

The doctor looked at him pausing before she spoke, choosing her words carefully. "We need to extricate her soon."

Jack grimaced. He understood the hidden subtext behind the doctor's words.

"Is there anything I can do?

"No, sir. We have stabilized the Colonel as much as possible while we wait for the equipment. That's all we can do right now. Wait."

Jack was not good at waiting. He needed to do something; kick some dirt, throw some rocks, pulverize those damn boulders. "Doc, can I see Carter?"

Doctor Brightman nodded and allowed Jack to move beside of Sam. A tarp had been erected to shield her from the rain. He ducked under the makeshift shelter and sat down looking at her still body, the only sign she was alive was the faintest rise and fall of her chest. The medics had cleaned her face of some of the blood and placed some butterfly bandages beside her left eye. An IV had been inserted in her left hand. Her right arm was still pinned under her back and that damn boulder still lay on top of her slowly pressing her life away. He wished he could pick up her hand and hold it just to let her know someone was there. He settled by tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear and watching the faint rise and fall of her chest. _'Just keep breathing Sam.'_


	5. Chapter 5: Between a Rock and Three Bou

**Chapter 5: Between a Rock and Three Boulders**

The rain begrudgingly relented and night descended upon P3X-656 when equipment from the SGC started arriving. There was a flurry of activity in and around the site as extra personnel from the SGC busied themselves with preparations for removing the boulder trapping Sam. Jack remained a sentry by her side. Doctor Brightman had given up trying to persuade him to move and hour earlier and worked around him. He sat quietly by and watched the activity taking place and back to her prone form still motionless; unresponsive to the movement around her.

Consciousness slowly crept back. She heard voices and noise floating just out of reach of understanding. She was cold. She felt trapped. Her head hurt, a lot, as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to the back. Her chest burned with pain when she took a breath. Her right side throbbed. She groaned in misery.

Jack heard a groan come from Carter. She moved her head slightly. He could see her fighting to open her eyes. "Come on, Carter, time to wake up."

Sam forced her eyes half open groaning again with the effort and just as quickly they closed.

Jack lightly patted her cheek to rouse her more to consciousness. "No more sleeping of the job, Colonel. It's time to get up."

In her dream state she could hear the General's voice imploring her to open her eyes.

Jack turned to the doctor. "Doc, Carter's coming around."

She opened her eyes and looked into his face struggling to keep them open fighting the pull of unconsciousness. "Sir?" She heard herself slur in confusion; her voice barely above a whisper.

Before he could respond, Doctor Brightman knelt down by Sam's side and started asking her questions. Jack fought the urge to stay by her side, to let her know he was here for her, instead he quietly moved away and let the doc work.

"Colonel Carter, are you in pain?"

"H…Hrts."

"What hurts, Colonel?"

"Evrythg, breathe…" Before Sam could finish, she felt blackness overtake her again and closed her eyes succumbing to nothingness.

***************

Jack moved to the area where SGC engineers were working to remove the boulder. "Can anyone tell me when this rock is going to be moved off Colonel Carter?" His words were harsh and startled the men.

A young Captain in charge of the extrication team hesitantly spoke. "No, sir."

"No, sir?" Jack responded mimicking the Captain's response.

The Captain continued, "General, we are going to remove the boulder, but we have to set up the equipment first. If we do this wrong, the Colonel could be hurt worse."

"Captain…"

"Lyles, sir"

"Captain Lyles, care to explain exactly how you are going to do this?"

"Yes, sir. We are going to place a wedge under the boulder to nudge it from its resting spot. The wedge is going to be reinforced with some of the larger rocks to stabilize the boulder. Then we are going to tie this chain around the boulder." He motioned to a large, heavy duty chain for visual effect. "Steel poles will be placed behind the boulder after a pathway is created for the boulder to slide on. Another wedge will be used to pry the front of the boulder forward, while another person holding the chain pulls in the slack."

'_Scientists'_. Jack was losing what little patience he had. "What about her leg? There is a big honking rock sitting on her leg."

"We need to dig around the Colonel's leg and torso, effectively creating a small trench."

"You do realize, Captain, there is another boulder flanking the Colonel's left side."

"Yes, sir, I believe there is enough room to roll the boulder off the Colonel"

"You believe? There better be room enough." Jack spat with no patience or decorum. "Captain Lyles…" moving into the man's personal space, glaring at him with dark eyes, "I am holding you personally responsible for getting this rock _safely_ off Colonel Carter."

Jack turned on his heels without waiting for a reply nearly running into Daniel who had crept up behind him.

"Quit being such an ass, Jack."

"Stay out of this, Daniel. I'm just doing my job." Jack words severe, his face hard even in the dark.

"Well, you could do it without being an ass. Don't you think those men have enough pressure on them right now without you threatening to kill their first born if something goes wrong?"

Jack sighed rubbing his face. _'I'm getting too old for this crap.'_

"We are all worried about Sam." Daniel continued putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Carter woke up a few minutes ago."

Daniel's face brightened. "How's she doing?"

"I don't know. She was only awake for a minute before she passed out again. Damn it, Daniel, she's just laying there. I need to do something."

The myriad of emotions was evident in Jack's words. Daniel had always known there was a unique bond that was more than CO and 2IC between Jack and Sam. It was probably killing Jack to see her lying there, helpless to do anything for her, prevented from showing anything but professional concern for her well-being by rules and regulations

Jack continued to talk oblivious to whether Daniel was listening. "This is my fault."

Daniel looked at him forehead wrinkled in confusion. "How can this be your fault? It was an accident; a freak of nature, accident. If anything it's my fault. Teal'c and I should have waited for her."

"She was mad with me."

"This still doesn't make what happened you fault."

"I'm leaving the SGC in a week to replace General Hammond as the Head of Homeworld Security." His words flat, emotionless.

"What?" Daniel was dumbfounded words escaping him.

"I told Carter a week ago. It didn't go as I had hoped. We had words. I hurt her."

Pieces of the puzzle began falling into place; Sam's seclusion in her lab the days before this damned mission; her despondency, lack of attention. "The recovery team is going to get her out of here, Jack."

"Yeah." Jack responded, as he turned his back on Daniel and returned to his spot by Carter.

****************

The extrication team continued its preparations throughout the night. The team had dug around her lower torso and left leg to protect her from further injury. The wedge was in place and a heavy chain had been positioned around the boulder ready to be pulled. As the first morning light began to peek over the horizon, Captain Lyles cautiously approached General O'Neill.

"Sir, we are ready to begin the extrication process."

Jack looked up at Captain Lyles. He got to his feet, his knees complaining in protest. He had spent a sleepless night on the rocks beside Carter. She had not regained consciousness.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." Jack approached Doctor Brightman. "Doc, Captain Lyles and his men are ready to remove the boulder. Is there anything…"

Before Jack could finish is words, Sam began to stir. She moved her head and let out a ragged breath which caused her to start coughing. The cough obviously caused her extreme discomfort as she tried to move her arms in a protective gesture toward her ribs. Sam left out an anguished yell when she tried to move her right arm. Jack and Doctor Brightman moved quickly to her position.

Jack placed his hands on her shoulders in an effort to still her. "Easy, Carter." At his words, Sam opened her eyes. She stared at him, her normally bright blue eyes, gray with pain and confusion. "Welcome back, you're just in time for the fun."

Sam licked her dry lips and tried to speak, grimacing with the effort. "Sir? " She moved her gaze to the doctor. "What's…going…on?"

"Well, Carter, you got yourself caught in a rock slide and you were banged around a bit by the rocks."

"Rock slide?" Memories flooded her mind; rain, rocks, slipping, someone calling her name, running, being buried alive, Daniel, Teal'c. She suddenly tried to sit up as hands restrained her.

"Colonel Carter, you must remain still."

"Daniel? Teal'c?"

"They're fine, Carter."

"Bad?"

Jack looked at the doctor who returned his questioning glance with a nod. "Ah…not too bad. There is one problem we have to take care of before you can go home."

Sam looked at him again in confusion. "Problem?"

"You see Carter, you have a very large, very heavy boulder sitting on top of you left leg. The boulder has to be moved before we get you back to the SGC. We were just about to get the show started when you decided to join the fun."

Sam moved her gaze to her legs seeing for the first time the boulder that had trapped her. She did not feel any pain in her leg or torso, which she took as a bad sign.

"Don't feel…anything."

Doctor Brightman did not respond and changed the subject. "Colonel, I am going to give you some pain medication before the boulder is moved. When the boulder has been safely removed, the medics and I are going to roll you slightly to remove your right arm which is pinned behind your back." She stopped unsure if the Colonel understood anything she said. Her were eyes focused on the boulder trapping her underneath. "I will be honest with you, Colonel, it's going to hurt."

Jack winced at the docs words. _'How much more was Carter going to go through before this was over?'_

"I don't want to give you too much morphine because I'm worried about you going into shock once the pressure has been moved off your leg and torso. With your unique physiology, the morphine will only, at most, take the edge off your pain."

"M'kay." She replied as another cough racked her body. Blood tinged her lips and a pained expression gripped her face when the bout ended.

Jack keyed his radio, "Teal'c the team is ready to move the boulder. We could use some of your Jaffa muscle right now."

"Understood, O'Neill. I am on my way."

When Teal'c arrived, the team readied themselves to roll the boulder. Teal'c would pull the boulder toward him as the rest of the team pushed forward.

Doctor Brightman was beside Sam issuing orders to the medics. "I want Ringer's started as soon as the boulder is moved. We have to move the Colonel away from the other boulder before we can stabilize her neck and spine. I want the traction splint ready for the leg and the air splint for the arm."

Jack moved back to Carter and knelt down beside her. "Ok, Carter, you have the easy job, just lay back and don't move. Are you ready?"

Sam was still conscious, but fading fast as she gave a weak thumbs up.

"Captain Lyles, is your team ready?"

"Yes, sir"

"Doctor Brightman, how about your team?"

"Ready, sir."

"Alright, Captain, you have a go."

The extraction team began pushing forward on the boulder as Teal'c started pulling from behind. Gradually the boulder started to tip forward. Jack watched as the boulder inched slowly over Carter's leg and torso protected in the man-made trench. He looked down at Carter. Her eyes had closed. He hoped the morphine had actually knocked her out. Jack's head whipped up when he heard a thunderous crash to see the boulder had been successfully pulled off of Carter, barely, as it was leaning precariously against the boulder that flanked Carter's left side. He feared the slightest wind would topple the rock back on top of Carter, effectively sealing her fate.

Jack moved aside as the medical team pushed their way through swarming her still form. The team worked efficiently as they began the work to stabilize her battered body and prepare her for transport back to the SGC. His stomach ached as he watched Carter, in her semi-conscious, drug-induced haze; begin to protest the prodding to her body. He longed to be by her side, to comfort her. She struggled to move away probing hands when her arm was freed from its entrapment under her body; an anguished yell of pain escaped her when her broken leg was splinted; a tormented scream erupted when she was moved to the stretcher; the oblivion of unconscious finally embracing her when the group started the hike back to the Stargate.


	6. Chapter 6: Home

**Chapter 6: Home**

"Come on, Colonel, don't you dare give up on me!" Doctor Brightman shouted at Sam as she emerged from the Stargate. She pumped on her chest willing her heart to beat "She's in VFIB. Prepare for intubation. I need 1 mg of epi and the paddles charged to 200. STAT!" The waiting medical staff moved forward to assist the doctor, as she barked her orders.

The gateroom was eerily quiet; the only sounds were those of the medical staff, and flat line of the heart monitor echoing ominously.

"Clear" The thump of the defibrillator against Sam's chest filled the room as her body arched off the gurney.

Flat line; the sound of death reverberated throughout.

"Charge to 200 again. Clear."

"Still no response, doctor."

"1 mg of epi and charge to 300. Clear"

Flat line.

"Charge to 400. Clear"

Jack stood at the top of the ramp, watching with grim fascination, as the medical staff worked to revive Carter. He was helpless now just as he was on the planet. It had been agony for him to watch the medics manipulate Carter's broken limbs knowing she was partially conscious. Her pleas and screams of anguish still ringing in his ears. She finally passed out from the pain when she was moved to a stretcher for transport back to the SGC. Daniel and Teal'c volunteered to carry the stretcher, followed closely by Jack, as the group started the arduous, one hour hike back to the gate which he knew would take longer because they were climbing up the mountain and had Carter in tow. The trip was hell. The cold rain which had earlier abated started again with vengeance. The narrow mountain path literally impassable as slick, wet rock turned footing dangerously treacherous. Carter, thankfully, remained unconscious, but Jack could sense the doctor's worry increase as they moved closer to the gate. She crashed when they arrived, three and a half hours later, at the Stargate. The Brightman immediately began CPR while Jack screamed to get the gate open. He found himself seconds later watching the macabre scene in the gateroom unfold.

The flat line continued to streak across the screen of the monitor as hope for Sam diminished.

"Charge to…" Doctor Brightman stopped her words short as she watched the monitor register a heart beat followed slowly by another.

"We have a heart beat, doctor, pulse is 80/20."

The gateroom watched in stunned silence, everyone releasing a collective breath, as Sam was rushed to the infirmary.

Jack descended the ramp, rubbing his grimy hands through his hair. He was weary, bone tired. Daniel approached him stopping Jack in his tracks.

"She's strong, Jack, she's going to make it."

Instead of heading straight for the infirmary or even to the locker room for a desperately needed shower, Jack went to his office. He collapsed at his desk and stared down at the same stack of paperwork that he left the day before.

A knock on his door roused him from his stupor.

"Yeah, enter."

Walter Harriman entered. "General, I have taken the liberty of clearing you schedule for the next 2 days and Colonel Reynolds will be handling SG team briefings. Will there be anything else, sir?"

"Coffee?"

"Brewing"

"Thank you, Walter."

***************

Daniel found Jack in his office staring absently at a stack of paperwork on his desk. He had not showered still wearing the same mud covered BDUs from the planet. He looked up when Daniel walked in.

"Daniel"

"Jack"

"Are you going to hide in here the rest of the night?"

"I'm not hiding, Daniel"

"Yes, you are"

"Am not"

"Are too"

"Any word about Carter?" Jack was too tired to play this game with Daniel tonight and abruptly ended their banter.

"She's was taken to x-ray and CT after…" he didn't want say after she almost died, "after she was taken to the infirmary. She's in surgery now."

Daniel sat down and continued, "Why are you hiding, Jack?"

Jack stared down at his hands tightly griped together on his desk avoiding Daniel's gaze and question. "I have work to do, Daniel. I am in charge of this place, you know."

"This is Sam we are talking about."

"I know Daniel. She is one of the most valuable members of this facility."

"Cut the bull. What are you afraid of, Jack?"

He was afraid. He was afraid of losing her. He was afraid he would never have the chance to make amends; to see her smile light up a room; to hear her get excited about a new piece of alien technology. _'I would rather die myself than lose her' _

"Daniel, I'm not in the mood to be psychoanalyzed tonight. I will be down after I finish this paperwork."

Daniel rose to his feet and headed for the door. He stopped turning to Jack, "Sam is going to need all of us to help her through this. She's going to need you."

"Dammit," he sighed loudly covering his face with his hands. "Dammit."

Two hours later Jack made his way to the infirmary where he found Daniel pacing and Teal'c ever the protector, standing stoically in front of the infirmary door.

Daniel stopped pacing when he saw Jack. "It's about time you decided to show up."

"Any word on Carter?"

"No, as far as we know she is still in surgery."

Jack frowned knowing that it had already been four hours.

Doctor Brightman chose that moment to exit the infirmary to find the three waiting men who immediately turned their attention to the exhausted looking doctor.

"Doc."

"General O'Neill, Colonel Carter is out of surgery and being taken to recovery. She is in critical condition and will be moved to ICU."

"Is she going to make it?" Jack did not want to ask this question but the troubled look on the doctor's face told him it didn't look good.

Doctor Brightman avoided answering. "Sir, I need to get back inside to the Colonel."

"Doc, what aren't you telling us? How bad is it?"

She signed heavily contemplating what to tell him. "We should wait until the debriefing to discuss Colonel Carter's condition and prognosis."

"Just hit the highlights."

"General, to be honest, Colonel Carter should be dead. I don't know how she survived the rock slide." She looked down at the floor sighing again and continued, "Her injuries are grave, sir, but she made it through surgery. That's a good sign."

"Fair enough, doc. I want a full debrief in 2 hours."

"Yes, sir."

"When can we see her?" Daniel asked

"When she has been moved to ICU, you will be allowed to visit. She will not, however, be conscious for several days."

Jack was very surprised to hear this detail. "Days? Why?"

"Due to her lung injury, Colonel Carter has been placed on a ventilator and being kept sedated. This will give her body a chance to start healing." The doctor paused waiting for a reply but only received uncomfortable silence. "General, if you will excuse me, I would like to get back to Colonel Carter."

***************

Jack solemnly filed into the briefing room 2 hours later to find Daniel, Teal'c and Doctor Brightman already seated. He sat down at the head of the table and took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to hear.

"Ok, doc, what's Carter's situation?"

Doctor Brightman cleared her throat and began. "As I told you earlier, General, Colonel Carter's injuries are very serious. She suffered a severe concussion. She fractured her humerus which has been set and placed in a cast. She sustained four broken ribs one of which punctured her lung. She also has various lacerations and bruises."

Jack interrupted the doctor. "What about her leg?"

"Colonel Carter has a comminuted fracture of her left leg complicated by a fractured pelvis."

Jack put is hand up. "Speak English, Doc. What's a _communicated_ fracture?"

"In simple terms, sir, the boulder crushed the Colonel's leg. The pelvic fracture caused internal bleeding which was repaired in surgery. We are unable to operate on her leg until the pelvic fracture is more stabilized. At that time, an orthopedic specialist will be brought in to perform the surgery" The doctor paused to allow her words to sink in to the three staring faces and continued, " At the moment, I am most concerned about monitoring the Colonel for signs of Crush syndrome."

"English, Doc." Jack was quickly losing his patience with the doctor's medical speak.

"When there has been a crushing injury as what Colonel Carter sustained, the release of the crushing pressure can cause major shock and renal failure. She is being given large amounts of fluids to prevent this."

"What's her prognosis?"

"I would prefer not to speculate, sir."

"Humor me, doctor."

"You have to realize, General, Colonel Carter is lucky to be alive. Her body sustained multiple traumatic injuries anyone in itself could have killed her. If the Colonel's injuries were limited to her broken leg and pelvis, her prognosis is high, albeit long and painful. However, because she sustained a crushing injury, her prognosis becomes more complicated."

Jack interrupted the doctor, "okay, okay, I get it. Is there anything else?"

"No, sir."

"Thanks, doctor, dismissed."

As Doctor Brightman pushed her chair away from the table to leave, Daniel asked her another question. "Will Sam be discharged from the Air Force because of her leg injury?"

"It is a high possibility."

"But she could recover and return to active duty?"

"Yes, Doctor Jackson, that is also a possibility. Currently, we do not know the extent of her leg injury except that the femur has been crushed, which, in itself is a potentially crippling injury."

"Are saying she may not walk again or could lose her leg?"

Doctor Brightman hesitated before answering, "What I'm saying…"

"Drop it, Daniel." Jack angrily interrupted before the doctor could finish her answer. "Thank you doctor, dismissed."

Jack stared down at the table, his fingers tightly laced together; knuckles white from the pressure; the somber words of the doctor lingered in the air. Minutes passed without him acknowledging the other two members of SG-1 who remained in the room.

"Jack?" Daniel hesitantly called out to his friend.

He looked up into the concerned face of Daniel and stoic façade of Teal'c. Without responding, he slowly rose to his feet and walked to his office closing the door behind him.

* * *

**A/N: I tried to be a realistic as possible with the medical descriptions; however, I am not a doctor so any glaring errors are totally mine. **


	7. Chapter 7: Waiting, Watching

**Chapter 7: Waiting, Watching**

Jack entered the infirmary sometime late in the night when he was sure Daniel and Teal'c were not around. Brightman refused to allow anyone more than a few precious minutes with her while her condition remained critical. He stealthily crept passed the late night staff to find her bed. He knew she would not wake.

His stomach turned at the sight of her. She was deathly pale. Angry cuts and bruises on her face and arms stood out against the white pallor of her skin. Plastic tubing snaked out from her body to countless medical devices crowded around her bed. A ventilator pushed air into her battered lungs. Her shattered leg was enclosed in some kind "alien" device with medal rings and rods branching from her thigh. He was unprepared to see her, so…broken. He was unprepared to feel, so…broken.

He pulled up an uncomfortable plastic chair and sat down beside her. He did not touch her though he longed to. Instead he watched the unnatural rise and fall of her chest from the ventilator and the slow, steady beep of the heart monitor. She was alive.

He did not move for the next five hours. At 5 o'clock in the morning, he stood and quietly left her side.

On the second night of his clandestine vigil, he arrived to find more tubes snaking from her body and more equipment surrounding her bed. She was suffering from acute renal failure; her kidneys unable to rid her body of the toxins produced from her muscles being crushed by the boulder; dialysis her only hope. He pulled up the same uncomfortable plastic chair and sat down beside her watching her chest rise and fall and listening to the steady beep of the heart monitor.

Each subsequent night progressed the same; waiting by her beside, watching her breath.

When Jack entered the infirmary on the sixth night, he found Teal'c standing by her bed. Her condition had been upgraded to serious so the doctor was allowing longer visitations by Daniel and Teal'c. He considered leaving, too afraid to face him after days of isolation and avoidance. He walked to her bed standing beside Teal'c. Respectable silence was maintained between the two as they watched her still form.

Minutes later Jack broke the peace. "Teal'c, what brings you down here at this time of the night? Shouldn't you be sleeping or Kelno'reeming or whatever you do now?"

"Indeed, O'Neill. I could say the same of you." Teal'c low bass voice responded without turning his gaze from Carter.

Jack winced at his words. He knew he was not fooling Teal'c about why he was here and changed the subject. "Doc Brightman said they may take Carter off the ventilator in a day or two."

"That is indeed good news."

"Yeah," he sighed.

"O'Neill, Colonel Carter will not blame you for what has happened to her."

"I'm not so sure, T."

"Colonel Carter experienced a similar sense of guilt when you were captured by Ba'al. She blamed herself for what the symbiote Kanan did without your consent as you are blaming yourself for her accident"

"It's not the same, Teal'c. If I hadn't agreed to take the snake, then I would be dead."

"Indeed." With those words, Teal'c bowed his head at Jack and left him alone.

He spoke to her for the first time on the eighth night.

"I'm sorry." His words were soft, almost a whisper as if he were afraid he would wake her up. "I'm sorry for what I said." He didn't look at her instead he focused on the tongue depressor he twisted in his hand. "I'm sorry this happened to you. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

He paused his thoughts drifting '…_I'd rather die myself than lose Carter…I care about her…a lot more than I am supposed to.'_

"Damn za'tarc." He muttered under his breath.

He stood and looked down into her peaceful face brushing a stray piece of hair away letting his fingers linger for one unguarded moment. He leaned down and gently kissed her on the cheek.

"You deserve better, Sam."

Jack left the infirmary and Colorado Springs for Washington the next day.


	8. Chapter 8: Waking Dreams

**Chapter 8: Waking Dreams**

The deep fog of unconsciousness started to lift from her mind. She tried to force her body to move, will her eyes to open but the fog settled again and she drifted back into her dreamless world.

When consciousness crept back a second time she fought past the haze and forced her eyes to open for a brief moment. The call of unconsciousness was too strong to keep them open any longer.

She heard beeping noises surrounding her and tried to gather the strength to pry her heavy eyes open again. She managed to coerce them half way quickly closing them again as harsh light assaulted her from above. The beeping noise increased accompanied by a voice.

Daniel was slumped down asleep in a chair beside Sam's bed; his head tilted backward and mouth slightly open softly snoring, a book rested on his chest. He was immediately awake and on his feet when he heard the heart monitor increase its steady beat indicating a rise in Sam's heartbeat. He looked to Sam and saw her trying to open her eyes.

"Sam. Come on, Sam. You can do it." He lightly patted her cheek to help wake her up.

She felt something lightly prodding her face as she tried to turn her head away from the intrusion.

Doctor Brightman entered the area and began examining Sam. "Colonel Carter, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?"

She heard another voice speaking to her as light again invaded her vision. She tried to speak managing only a small moan as she could feel the tendrils of oblivion encroaching, succumbing again to the darkness.

Daniel watched as Sam slipped back into unconsciousness. Frustration was apparent in his features as he slumped back into his chair taking his glasses off and rubbing his tired eyes.

It was easier the next time Sam managed to open her eyes. A blurry image looked down on her. She blinked trying to make the image come into focus.

The blurry image spoke. "Hey, Sam."

She recognized Daniel's voice and tried to speak moving her lips but heard no sound.

"It's okay don't try to say anything. Would you like some ice chips? The doctor said you could have some when you woke up again." Finally focusing on his face, she nodded.

Daniel gently placed some ice chips on her dry lips letting the ice melt into her mouth. "Is that better?"

Sam nodded her head as she tried again to speak again. "D' nl."

"Yeah, Sam, it's great to see you awake. Everything's going to be okay"

She closed her eyes as she responded, "M'kay" and fell back asleep.

Sam remained in a semi-conscious state over the next day. She would wake briefly, disoriented, in pain, and would fall exhausted back into a deep sleep.

She awoke again to a loud voice permeating her sub consciousness. "I am not going to leave her alone. What if she wakes up and we're not here?"

"When was the last time you ate?" Another voice questioned.

"Does coffee count?"

"No."

"Yesterday, I think."

"I want you to get something to eat and sleep at least six hours before you return."

"You're not serious?"

"I can make it an order."

"I am not…" The argument was abruptly cut off by a voice behind the two.

"Stop." It was quiet and raspy from disuse; however, both Daniel and Doctor Brightman recognized Sam's voice. "Givin' me a headache."

"Sam."

"Colonel Carter." They both said at the same time.

"Hi." Sam looked up and gave the two a small smile. "Tryin' to sleep."

"Oh, no you don't. I think you've slept long enough." Daniel approached her bed imploring her to stay awake.

Sam furrowed her brow at his comment. "How long?"

"Two weeks."

"Colonel Carter," Doctor Brightman interjected, "how are you feeling?"

"I've felt better."

"That is to be expected considering what you've been through."

Sam momentarily processed the doctor's words _'what you've been through.' _She had been in and out of consciousness for so long; she did not know the extent of her injuries. She knew her right arm was broken due to the very cumbersome cast covering her arm holding it in place at a right angle. She also knew her leg was broken but not how badly. She was forced to lay flat on her back without moving so she could see very little except the gray ceiling of the infirmary and anyone in her direct line of vision.

She felt as if a heavy veil had draped itself in her memories. Sam closed her eyes as she tried to concentrate on the vague images swirling around in her mind rain, rocks, mud, trapped, blinding agony. "Oh, God." She murmured. She tried to sit up as pain ripped through her body at the sudden movement.

"It's okay, Sam." Daniel calmly reassured her while keeping his hands on her shoulders to prevent her from moving. "You're alright."

Doctor Brightman motioned for one of the nurses and quietly relayed some orders. She returned and injected the contents into Sam's IV.

Sam looked at Daniel as sudden panic overcame her. "Teal'c?"

"I am well Colonel Carter." Teal'c responded from behind. He had entered the infirmary unbeknownst to Daniel or the doctor.

She repeated his name, "Teal'c" visibly relaxing at his words assured that all members of SG-1 were safe. She closed her eyes surrendering to the darkness once more.

*******************

Sam stared up at the dull, gray industrial ceiling she had come to hate. She knew how many holes there were in each tile, 2,347. She knew there was a crack in the shape of a crescent moon on the second tile to the left of her bed and a balloon on the third tile over her bed. She had been in the infirmary for three weeks, had two operations, daily dialysis, and was completely immobilized. She was miserable and in constant pain, not that she would ever admit it.

"Hey, Sam."

"Hey, Daniel." Sam responded without diverting her attention from the ceiling.

"How are you doing today?"

"Fine."

Daniel looked at her after her usual response. She was looking at the ceiling, studying it, as if it were the technical specifications of a Naquadah reactor. "Um, Sam, what are you doing?"

She did not respond immediately. When she did, she blew out an exasperated breath and looked at him. "Counting the holes in the ceiling. You interrupted me."

"You're really bored, aren't you?"

"What gives you that idea, Daniel?" She responded, the sarcasm dripping from her words. "Did you know there are 2,347 holes in each of the ceiling tiles except for the second one to the right, it only has 2,345? The fifth one on the left needs to be replaced"

Daniel winced at her words. "So how are you really doing, Sam?"

"I'm fine."

"Sam."

"Daniel."

Daniel looked at her knowing she was lying.

"What? What do you want me to say, Daniel? Do you want me to tell you how badly I feel? That each time I breathe my chest feels like it is on fire? I can't eat. My kidneys are shot. My leg is trashed. I can't move. Everything hurts. Is that what you wanted to hear?" The angry words exploded from her as tears streamed down her cheeks. She stared back at the ceiling trying to control her emotions.

"I'm sorry, Sam." Daniel said quietly as he reached for a tissue and wiped her face. "This should have never happened to you?"

Sam looked at him with red-rimmed, tear filled eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"Teal'c and I should have waited for you. We knew you had fallen behind, but we crossed the field anyway."

"Daniel, it's not your fault or Teal'c's. If anyone is to blame, I blame myself. I was distracted."

"About Jack?"

"What?"

"He told me what happened."

"What?"

"He told you he was leaving and you had words. He said you were mad at him, that he had hurt you."

"I don't want to talk about it, Daniel." She did not want to talk about what happened between them. It was too recent, the memories too fresh, the hurt too real. He hurt her more than she could ever tell Daniel. She hurt him too.

"Sam, I will always be here for you if you want to talk about it."

"That's what he said too." Sam muttered under her breath hoping Daniel did not hear it.

"What? Did you say something?"

"Is he gone?"

"Is who gone?"

"General O'Neill. Did he leave for Washington?"

Daniel let out a long sigh before responding. "Yeah, Sam, he's gone."

"I knew he was gone. I've been here for three weeks and I haven't seen him. Not that I was expecting him to come see me after what… Have you heard from him?"

"You know he was on the rescue mission to find you. In fact he was the one who found you. He sat by your side the whole time." Daniel let the words sink in and continued. "He was a real ass to everyone; threatening life and limb, you know, just being Jack."

Sam looked at Daniel, her eyes wide in disbelief. "No, I didn't know he was on the planet. I thought it was a dream."

"What was a dream?"

"I remember General O'Neill talking to me about waking up, but I thought it was a dream."

"No, Sam, it wasn't a dream."


	9. Chapter 9: Phone Calls

**Chapter 9: Phone Calls **

Jack had been in Washington for five weeks and he hated it. He knew he would and it was worse than he could ever imagine. He knew he should have retired when he had the chance. He could be at his cabin fishing in his fishless pond right now. _'Blowhard politicians, IOA, NID, they can all shove it up their collective…'_

"General O'Neill?"

'_Interruptions_!' "Yes, Lieutenant."

"There is a Doctor Daniel Jackson on the phone. This is the fourth time he has called today. Would you like to take the call?"

"Take a message."

"Yes, sir, but he is rather insistent that he speak with you."

'_What does Daniel want? Why would he be calling? He did not leave on the best of terms; no good-byes, so longs, thanks for the memories.' _"Fine, put him through." Jack picked up his phone angrily. "What!"

"Nice to hear from you to, Jack."

"What do you want, Daniel?" He was in no mood to play verbal banter games with Daniel.

"So…how are things in Washington? How's the new job working out for you?"

"What do you want, Daniel?"

"A good-bye would've been nice." Jack didn't miss the conceit in Daniel's voice. "Is it everything you were hoping for, the job I mean?"

"Dannielll!" Jack said his name almost growling in anger.

He continued ignoring the growing irritation in Jack's voice. "Did you even go see her before you left? She's been lying in a hospital bed for eight weeks now. Do you even care?

"Who?"

"You know exactly WHO." Daniel responded, his voice increasing in sound. "She needs _you_, Jack."

Jack let out a long irritated breath over the phone. "What makes you so sure, Daniel? She and I did not part on the best of terms, you know. I'm the last thing she needs or wants right now. In fact, I'm sure she would be happy to never see me again."

"You're wrong." The words lingered before Daniel continued. "Can I ask you something, Jack?"

"It doesn't look like I'll be able to stop you unless I hang up the phone." Which he seriously considered, but he knew Daniel would call him back.

"What happened? Why did you leave without seeing, Sam? You lead the rescue mission to find her. You wouldn't leave her side, but when you got back to the SGC, you disappeared. I didn't even know you were gone until General Landry showed up."

Jack listened silently to Daniel's words. "I was there every night." He responded softly, almost whispering into the phone.

"What?"

"Dammit, Daniel, I was there! I was there every night until I left. Every night, I sat by her bed watching her cling to life. Are you happy?" Jack was furious as he spewed the words. He was not mad at Daniel, though, he was mad with himself for being too afraid to face her.

There was a long pause after Jack ended his tirade when Daniel finally spoke. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Yes, well, that was the point." After another labored pause in the conversation, he spoke again. "How's she doing?"

"Not so good." Jack winced at Daniel's word. He had an idea how Carter was reacting to her situation; he knew the strong façade she displayed was only a mask for the hurt and despair she was truly feeling. "She is finally stable enough to be moved to a rehab facility. The doctors are not sure if she will ever recover the full use of her leg though. There was a lot more damage than they initially thought."

'_Damn'_

"Look, Daniel, I have to go. Important Homeworld Security stuff to do and such."

"Think about what I said, Jack. She really does need you."

*******************

"Hey, Sam." Daniel said as he walked up to her bed in the infirmary. "So tomorrow is the big day, huh?"

"If you say so." She said dejectedly as she looked at him from her prone position on her bed.

"I thought you would be excited about getting out of the infirmary. You have been here eight weeks."

"Daniel, I'm just being transferred to another hospital for rehab. '_Another hospital room with new tiles to count she thought sarcastically.'_

Doctor Brightman approached the two interrupting their conversation. "Colonel Carter, I'm sorry to interrupt, however, I have some unexpected news that I need to discuss with you."

Sam looked at the doctor unsure how to interpret her statement. "What's going on?"

"You're being transferred to a rehabilitation facility at Langley instead of the Academy." The doctor stated matter-of-factly.

Sam stared at the doctor; her eyes wide and mouth slightly open, coherent thoughts escaping her. "What? Langley? Langley Virginia? Why?"

"They have an excellent physical therapy facility, one of the best in the Air Force."

"I don't understand. Why am I being transferred half way across the country when there is a perfectly good facility here?" She stated obviously frustrated.

"The orders came in this morning, Colonel. It's out of my hands now. You are being flown out tomorrow at 0700."

Daniel stood by the side of the bed listening to the exchange of the two officers. He smiled inwardly, knowing exactly where the orders came from.

* * *

**A/N: I am not familiar with Langley AFB and whether or not they have any kind of rehabilitation center. I picked Langley purely for locale. Thanks again for your continued support. **


	10. Chapter 10: Falling Down

**Chapter 10: Falling Down**

"Welcome to Langley Comprehensive Rehabilitative Facility, ma'am." The young lieutenant spoke to Sam as she was being wheeled into her new room. It looked as she anticipated similar to the room where she had spent the last eight weeks.

"Thank you, lieutenant."

"Baker, ma'am. Lieutenant Baker. "If you need anything, press the call button. The physical therapist will be here at 1500 hours."

1500 hours arrived entirely too soon. "Colonel Carter?" She heard her name called but could not see anyone in the room until a baby face with blue eyes suddenly appeared in front of her. "Hi, I'm Jason. I'm going to be your physical therapist while you're here with us."

"Hi, Jason," she responded as she took in his appearance. He was tall and lanky with shaggy, sandy blonde hair. He looked as thought he should be on the beach surfing instead of working in a military hospital. "You're not military?"

"Civilian. I'm here to talk to you about your rehab."

"I'm not sure what kind of rehab I will be able to do, Jason, I've been flat on my back for eight weeks and I still have a cast on my arm." She held her arm up for visual effect.

He smiled at her. "Well, Sam, do you mind if I call you, Sam?" He continued talking without waiting for a response. "That's what I'm here for. You're getting you cast off tomorrow. It's time to get you up and about."

"Great…" She responded with much less enthusiasm.

She settled into a routine after her first two days of "torture" at the hands of her task master, Jason. Sam was sure that he had lied about being a civilian and was actually a drill sergeant. She thought this was the military's perverse way of getting back at her for something she did at some time she didn't remember doing. She began to think lying on her back had not been so bad after all.

Until she could get out of bed, her days were spent exercising and stretching and working her uncooperative limbs from eight weeks of immobility. Two weeks later she was being wheeled into an exercise room to begin walking again.

"Okay, Sam, we are going to take it slow and easy today." Jason, the drill sergeant in disguise, was informing her. "I'm going to wheel you in front of the bars and help you stand up then I want you to grab hold and try to take a couple of steps." He paused so she could gather her thoughts. "Ready?"

She responded reluctantly, "yeahsureyoubetcha." '_No she was not ready and where did that come from?'_

"I know you are still in some pain, so try not to over do it the first time." He said as he helped her stand. "Let me know if you need any help or the pain is too much. I will be right here."

She stood and gripped the bars using all her strength to keep herself standing. Her newly healed arm trembled under the strain of trying to keep from falling flat on her face. The pain was too much but she would never admit to Jason as much. It radiated from her hip down her leg to the very tip of her toes. Sweat was already forming on her brow and she had not even tried to move forward.

"You're doing great, Sam." Jason encouraged her switching from drill sergeant to cheerleader.

She was not going to be able to hold her position much longer, so she took one hesitant baby step forward with her "good" right leg. _'So far so good.' _She swung her braced left leg forward and attempted to put pressure on her leg. Agonizing pain ripped through her leg. She screamed in anguish as her unsteady arms gave out and she crumpled to the mat.

"Good morning, Sam." The voice was entirely too cheerful for her mood today.

Sam sat slumped in her bed arms crossed across her chest. "What's so good about it?" She knew she was acting like a petulant 5 year old.

"Another day another step toward recovery."

"Sorry, Jason, I'm done." After what happened yesterday, she was not going to make a fool of herself again.

Jason looked at her with a disapproving stare. "I never pegged you for a quitter, Sam."

"Sorry to disappoint you."

Frustration showed on his face. "Do you want to be handicapped? Do you want to use a cane for the rest of your life because you gave up after one failed try? Do you want to lose your career?"

"Did you read by medical file, Jason?" She responded angrily. "If you did, you would know how fucked my leg is. I have enough hardware in my pelvis and femur to open a hardware store. I have nerve damage and my knee is a wreck. My future is not bright." Sam finished her outburst and looked at Jason waiting for his response.

"When you're finished feeling sorry for yourself," he replied softly, "I'll be here." He looked at her briefly and left the room.

*******************

Being a general did have its advantages. After Daniel's phone call, Jack arranged to have Carter transferred to Langley for rehabilitation and the staff of the facility kept him informed of her progress. He knew she was not happy about the arrangement. She would have been more comfortable at the Academy. Daniel and Teal'c would have been able to visit regularly. _'What was he thinking having her brought to Langley? It would be something else to hate him for.' _

Jack stood in front of her door. His hands were sweating like a teenager going on his first date. He was such a coward. He could face down the meanest Goa'uld in the galaxy, yet it had taken him two weeks to find the courage to face her. Jack paced restlessly in front of her door while he gave himself a mental pep talk. _'It's just Carter. It's just Carter. It's not just Carter. It's Carter! Crap'_. He took one deep breath, wiped his wet palms on his pants and walked in.

She was asleep. Jack walked quietly to the foot of her bed and lingered for a moment before sitting down. He watched her like he had done after her accident. It was different this time. She was not fighting for her life, hooked to machines keeping her alive. She was alive but he knew she was still broken.

Sam had the feeling someone was in the room with her, watching her. She had been virtually alone since she had been transferred here two weeks ago. Jason had not been back in her room since her tantrum that morning and the nurses always let her know if they were there. She heard a chair squeak. Someone was definitely there. She opened her eyes and turned her head toward the noise.

Jack knew she was waking up as he watched her begin to stir in her bed. He shifted his position in his uncomfortable chair in anticipation of her awakening, the chair squeaking in response to his movements. She turned her head toward the noise and opened her eyes.

Sam stared at him. Jack looked back at her as neither spoke.

Minutes seemed to pass before Sam finally said quietly. "Sir?"

"Hey, Carter." Jack responded just as quietly.

Sam pushed herself up in her bed. "What are you doing here?" Her tone was still quiet.

"I heard you were in town and dropped by to see how you're doing."

"I'm fine, s…" She stopped mid sentence and glared at him. "It was you." She replied as the realization of why she was here slapped her in the face.

"What was me?" He knew what she meant but did not know how to respond.

"You had me transferred here for rehab. Is this my punishment, sir," emphasizing the sir. "or don't you think I've suffered enough?"

"Yes. No. God, no, Carter. Damn."

She could not deal with him, with this now. "Please leave…sir." She saw the hurt in his eyes as she said the words.

Jack looked from her face to the floor contemplating how to respond. "Is that what you really want?"

"Yes."

"Carter, I…" He hesitated not knowing what else to say. She did not give him the chance to finish.

"Please go."

Jack looked at her as he stood to leave. It was heartbreaking to see her lying there hating him.

"Sir, please…" With sadness in her voice, Sam pleaded with him to leave.

He turned and headed for the door determined to leave her in peace but stopped when he reached the door. If he went through the door, he would be leaving her forever.

"I'm sorry, Sam." He spoke the words softly and left her room.


	11. Chapter 11: Old Acquaintances

**Chapter 11: Old Acquaintances**

"I'm sorry, Sam."

The softly spoken words floated in the room as she watched him leave. Sam closed her eyes and let the tears fall that she had fought to hold back while he was here. She struggled to sit up in her bed fighting off the pain of her still healing body. She moved her right leg up close and gripped her knee tightly. She rested her head against her knee rocking back and forth and wept muttering to herself, "What have I done?"

_**Four Months Later **_

"Are you ready?"

Sam sat on her bed staring into the distance, the words barely registering in her brain.

"Sam?" She heard the words again finally realizing they were directed at her. "Are you okay? You looked like you were a million miles away."

"Actually 25 trillion." She replied with a sad smile as her mind wandered back to the fateful mission six months ago to P3X-656 where her life had changed.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Jason, it's nothing. I was just reminiscing. What were you saying?" She said as she focused her attention on him.

"I said are you ready? I figured you would be beating down the doors to get out of here today."

"Ready as I'll ever be." She replied exhaling a breath as she lowered herself from the bed. "I know one thing for sure; I will not miss this bed," where she had spent the last four months, two weeks, and 6 hours, but who was counting.

"You've done great, Sam. You should be proud."

"Thanks…" Sam hesitated, "thanks for everything, Jason." She moved forward and hugged the therapist. "You know, you could have a career as a drill sergeant if you ever give up this gig." She teased him.

"I'll keep that in mind." He replied as he released her from the hug and rolled a wheelchair up to her bed. "One last ride for old time's sake?" He wheeled Sam to the entrance of the rehabilitation center. "I thought your friends Daniel and Murray were picking you up today?" Jason asked as he pushed her out the front doors. The only car in the patient pick-up area was a taxi.

"They're coming later; I have something I need to take care of in D.C." She pushed herself out of the wheelchair and headed slowly for the taxi.

Jason looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Are you sure you are up for this?" He asked as he handed the driver Sam's bags.

"Sir, yes, sir." Sam replied giving him a sloppy salute.

Jason smiled and returned her salute. "It's been an honor, Colonel. Don't forget this", as he grabbed one last item sticking it in the backseat of the taxi.

Sam closed the door to the taxi and looked out the window at Jason who had his hand up waving goodbye.

"Where to ma'am?" The driver asked diverting Sam's attention.

"Oh, um, Georgetown." She answered as she handed him a folded piece of paper.

The taxi driver looked at the address. "Nice," was his only reply.

They rode in silence as Sam stared out the window and the driver hummed some unknown tune and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. She did not want to talk and it suited her that the driver did not engage her in idol chat.

The quite peace of the ride was suddenly broken. "So…what laid you up at the rehab center? You in the military? You don't look the military type."

Sam turned her head from the window and looked at the driver resigned to the fact that she had to talk to him. "Lieutenant Colonel. I was injured." She turned her head back toward the window hoping he would take the hint that she did not want to talk.

"So what happened?"

Obviously missing the hint, Sam reluctantly continued. "I crushed my femur and fractured my pelvis amongst other things."

"Geez. Crushed leg, thats gotta hurt."

'You have no idea,' she thought as she unconsciously rubbed her hand over her leg. "Yeah."

"How'd it happen?"

"Classified"

The taxi driver, Walt, she was informed continued to pepper her with questions until they arrived at the address in Georgetown.

"Here we are, Colonel. Nice place. You live here?"

"Old acquaintance."

Walt helped her with her bags and left her standing in front of a beautiful old brownstone. It was not what she expected although she was not sure what to expect. It looked lived in, normal. There was a Boston fern in a planter by the door and curtains in the windows. A Washington Post was lying haphazardly near the door and mail peeked out of the mailbox. It was almost 5 o'clock so she thought she would not have to wait very long. She carefully climbed the steps and sat on the small front stoop to wait. She watched as people went about their lives in the quiet neighborhood. Mothers pushed baby strollers, homeowners walked their dogs, and joggers braved the streets.

Forty-five minutes later, a dark sedan pulled up to the sidewalk. The driver, a young airman, hurriedly got out and opened the passenger door for the occupant. Jack O'Neill exited the car reading a file with one hand, and holding a briefcase in the other. He acknowledged the airman without looking up and headed up the stairs to his brownstone.

Sam watched him as he exited the car. He was dressed in his Class "A" uniform, which she knew he abhorred as much as the Goa'uld. He had not looked up from his file when he started climbing the brownstone's steps. He was going to fall over her if she did not move or say something. Moving out of the way fast enough was out of the question so she gathered her courage and timidly spoke.

"Hi, sir."

Jack stopped when he heard her voice, the voice he had not heard in four months when she told him to leave. He looked at her taking in her appearance. She looked healthy albeit a little thin, wearing jeans and a simple white v-neck t-shirt. Her hair was a little longer than she normally wore it, but she had been laid up for the last six months. She was beautiful.

Words eluded him and only managed to stutter her name. "C..Carter?"

"Hi." She replied again with a small smile.

"Carter?"


	12. Chapter 12: Weight of the World

**A/N: This is the last chapter. I will be posting an Epilogue tomorrow. You do not have to read the epilogue but I think it wraps up the story. It also made me teary eyed. **

**A huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review my story. It definitely did not turn out how I originally intended, but I think ultimately that was a good thing. ****I am working on a new story I hope to post soon. Thanks again. shivez**

**

* * *

  
**

**Chapter 12: Weight of the World**

"Carter?"

Jack looked at Carter as she looked back at him. To say that he was surprised shocked even was an understatement. Carter was the last person he expected to see sitting on the steps of his home. _What was she doing here?_ He was not lost on the fact that the last two times they had actually talked to each other ended poorly. _What was she doing here_?

"So…" One word sentences were all Jack could manage at the moment.

"So…" Sam replied.

They both stared silently at each other for several moments. "So, um…what brings you to this neck of the woods on such a fine day, in my back…" He stopped suddenly remembering uttering the same words the day she had come to his home to confess…something and Kerry interrupting. It was not a good day. He decided for the more direct approach. "Carter, what the hell are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too, sir." Sam replied matter-of-factly.

Jack continued to stare at Carter, still unable to find words, confused by what she said. "What?"

Sam finally broke contact with his face and focused on her hands, tightly gripped together. "I got out of rehab today."

Jack knew this already. Despite the fact she made it clear she did not want to see him, he had continued to keep tabs on her progress. "You look great, Carter."

"Thank-you, sir." She replied automatically. She did not say anything else as if waiting for him to continue the conversation. "I've had a lot of time to think things over the past four months."

"I would not expect anything less." Jack replied. "I mean thinking that is. You thinking was is always a good thing."

"I'm sorry, sir." Sam said quietly as if she were not listening to him babble.

Jack looked at Carter and moved up the steps and sat down beside her. "For what?"

"I was out of line in your office that day."

Jack winced as words and images flooded his memory. "Not you fault, Carter."

Sam looked up to see his dark eyes fixed on her. "How can you say that?" She replied. "I accused…"

"Carter…stop. I said some pretty awful things to you too. I'm just as much to blame for what happened. I have regretted my words everyday since."

Sam turned her gaze away and back to her hands.

They sat side by side in silence until Jack spoke again. "You know, Carter, as much as I enjoy sitting here with you on the steps of my house reminiscing about old times, my knees are killing me and if I don't get out of this tie soon I may go nuts." He put both hands on his knees and pushed himself up. He turned to Carter and extended his hand. "Why don't you come inside?"

Sam sighed and reluctantly allowed him to pull her up. Jack moved toward his door and noticed for the first time, her bags sitting off to the side. "Moving in?"

Sam flinched at his words and realized how awkward her bags sitting by his door must seem. "No. I mean, sorry sir. I came here directly from Langley. I asked Daniel and Teal'c to pick me up here."

"Forget it, Carter." He said as he unlocked his door and ushered her in. Sam started to move forward and suddenly turned around. She carefully leaned forward and picked up the cane that had been hidden by her leg. She turned back around and limped slowly through the door. Jack kicked himself for failing to notice the cane. _'Idiot'_ He hurried in and dumped his forgotten file and briefcase on a table in the foyer and headed back for Carter's bags which he deposited by the door. He turned to Sam who was standing uncomfortably by door, leaning heavily on her cane. She looked as self-conscious as he felt.

"Come on in." Jack said as he walked down the narrow hall into a living room removing the offensive tie along the way. He threw his tie over a chair and turned around toward Sam who was making her way into the room. "So, um, welcome. Can I get you anything beer, magazine, cake?"

Sam grinned slightly at his attempt at alleviating the awkward situation she had put him in. "No thank-you, sir."

"Well, um, make yourself comfortable." He gestured around with his arm. "I'm going to change. Be back in a minute." He turned and headed out of the room toward the stairs which lead to the second floor.

She carefully lowered herself onto the sofa and waited. The living room was modestly furnished with the prerequisite sofa and two chairs. A large flat-screen T.V. adorned one wall flanked by two large bookcases which were empty save for a vast collection of Simpson's DVDs. A door led out of the other end of the room which she suspected led to the kitchen.

Jack re-entered a few minutes later freshly changed into more comfortable khakis and a navy t-shirt and saw Carter inspecting the room. "None of this is mine." He replied. "Except of course the DVDs."

"Of course."

"The Pentagon set me up with this place. I can't say I like it. There are three floors, too many stairs. Not good for my knees." He grimaced when he realized what he said and quickly changed the subject. "I'm going to get a beer. Can I get you something?" He said as he moved past her ignoring any reply she uttered. He returned with two beers and sat down next to Sam on the sofa handing her one. "So…"

"So…" Again an uneasy silence hovered in the air. Sam picked up her beer and began methodically tearing off the label. "I'm being discharged." She said quietly breaking the tension between them.

Jack frowned at her words not knowing how exactly to respond. He picked up his beer and downed half in one gulp and then stood from the sofa. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked around the room with no particular destination in mind and returned to the sofa. "Carter…" He paused as if trying to find the right words. "I'm truly sorry, Carter. I'm sorry for what happened to you. You didn't deserve any of this."

Sam replied with sad laugh, "yeah" as she continued to tear the beer label into tiny pieces. "There was too much damage. I will probably always need the cane or at least have a limp."

"Carter…"

"The cab driver called me Colonel today when he dropped me off. I realized for the first time, I'm not in the military anymore."

"Carter…" Jack tried to respond again to her words but she continued lost in her own thoughts.

"I thought I would have a normal life one day. Now this day is here and I'm scared. What's even more ironic, though," she said continued with another sad laugh, "is I thought I was going to have my normal life with you. Look where that has gotten me."

Jack's mouth dropped open when he heard Sam utter the words. "Carter?"

Sam looked up from her pile of torn paper into his face. "I'm sorry, sir, I know this is making you uncomfortable but I feel like I've had the weight of the world on my shoulders since," she paused "since that day in your office when…"

Jack interrupted her before Sam could finish. "Did you really mean what you said?"

"Mean what?"

"That you thought you were going to have a normal life with me."

"Ever since the day we decided to leave it in the room, I've been waiting for…" She stopped. Jack look at her to continue. "I've been waiting for our time."

"You think our time has come and gone?"

"What do you think, sir?"

"What do you think I'm doing here in Washington, Carter?" She looked at him with a confused expression. "I certainly didn't come for the new stars on my shoulders or the lovely day to day whining of pompous bureaucrats. I came here for you, for our time."

Sam was shocked to hear him as he continued. "They won't let me retire, so this was the next best solution. But that day… I was too cowardardly to tell you the truth and it all went to hell literally and figuratively."

"So, what now?" She asked sadly.

"I think it's time to take it out of the room. Can we start over?"

"Just Jack and Sam?"

"I wouldn't want it any other way." He answered her as he turned toward her on the sofa. "Hi, I'm Jonathan O'Neill." He said and smiled sheepishly. "New in town?"

"Hi, Jonathan." She said her cheeks blushing slightly as she extended her hand towards him. "Samantha Carter. It's nice to meet you."

"Same here, call me Jack."

"Okay, Jack, I'm Sam."

_**The End…**_


	13. Epilogue

**Epilogue:**

The Stargate erupted as two figures emerged from the wormhole onto the cliff of P3X-656. The wind swirled around the pair as they moved down the steps and took in the majestic view.

"You know the first time I came here I didn't have a chance to take in the scenery." He said picking up a rock and tossing it over the cliff. "No trees." The swirl of the wind was his only response. He looked over to his companion. "Penny for your thoughts."

"What?"

"Carter, you looked like you were a million miles away."

"Acutally 25 trillion." She replied with a smile.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.

"It's how far away we are from Earth."

"Ah. Are you sure you're up for this? We don't have to go down. We could just leave."

"Ready as I'll ever be. Let's go."

"Okay. Brains before beauty." Jack gestured for Sam to lead the way down the mountain.

*****************  
**

It had been a little over a year since Sam's accident, her life, their lives irrevocably changed. Sam had been medically discharged from the Air Force; the damage to her leg was too extensive for her ever to be on a field unit again. She had made great progress though; her limp was barely noticeable and she only needed her cane on the rare occasion when she overtaxed her leg. She would probably need it when they got back.

She had research companies, universities, NASA, and even the Air Force clamoring for her talents. In the end she opted for a "normal" life and a professorship in physics at Georgetown.

She thought she would be bored without the excitement of gate travel, saving the planet on a regular basis, the opportunity to study new alien technology. Perspectives change. She was happy.

*******************

"I've been meaning to ask." Sam turned and asked Jack as they hiked down the mountain. "How did you manage this?"

"Manage what?" Jack replied with a smirk.

"Don't be so coy, Jack. This." She replied raising her arms in emphasis.

"I am a General, you know. Rank does have its privileges."

"Seriously, Jack."

"I told Hank we had some unfinished business on the planet."

"Ah."

"Keep moving." He ordered

"Yes, sir." she replied mockingly.

*******************

Jack was reluctantly still Head of Homeworld Security and he still hated the job but it became more tolerable when Carter…Sam came back into his life. She would always be Carter to him. She did not seem to mind. He still wanted to retire and the President kept holding on to him. "We need you," he would say. One day soon, he vowed, he would be fishing in his fishless pond with Carter by his side.

*******************

An hour and a half later, a little more winded than she remembered being the first time, and a lot sweatier, Sam exited the trail and faced the boulder field. She did not remember much after the rock slide and she had not asked. She lived the aftermath everyday as she subconsciously massaged her aching leg.

Jack stood back and watched Sam as she rubbed her leg. Her hand always found her leg when she thought about the accident and the pain. He was sure she did not realize what she was doing. He noticed. Jack stepped forward and put his arm around her shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah. It's just weird being back here. It's so surreal. I don't remember anything after…" She stopped and let her words fade.

Jack did not reply and she did not expect him to.

"Is it still there?"

He knew what she was asking. He saw it as soon as he entered the clearing. "Yes." The boulder that had crushed Sam was still leaning perilously where it had come to a rest after being moved from her. It still looked as if the slightest wind would topple it over. "Do you want to see it?"

"No."

*******************

Despite the fact they had known each other over nine years; their relationship was still new and a work in progress. Jack would never under stand what Carter saw in him. He was an old curmudgeon, but she loved him. He loved her too.

*****************  
**

"Have I ever thanked you?" She said taking the hand that was draped over her shoulder in hers.

"For what?" He asked looking into her eyes.

"For finding me. For caring" She replied simply.

"You know about that?"

"Daniel."

"Space Monkey."

"Thank you for being here with me now." She said laying her head on his shoulder.

"Always, Carter."


End file.
